Peregrine falcons defy extinction by having intercourse with a hat
Has there ever been a nobler pastime than the artwork of falconry? All through historical past, the bluest and most refined hunters have saved these birds of prey as their companions, counting on their velocity, notion, and crafty to catch their quarry. And no falcon is extra spectacular than the peregrine falcon, whose velocity of 200 miles per hour makes it the quickest creature ever. And it’s this velocity that their guides respect most when it’s time for these noble birds to come back down and splash on the heads of their masters.
Within the 1950s, the lightning-fast peregrine falcon might not escape extinction. Like many others, the proliferation of DDT pesticides had poisoned the species and made their eggshells so fragile that mother birds would crush their offspring. Within the 1960s, falconers realized that the one technique to preserve the birds alive was to maintain them in captivity, the place cautious breeders might make falcons with out breaking eggs. However saved in cages, hawks grew to become fussy lovers who matched pandas. To breed them effectively, a falconer named Lester Boyd developed the final word falcon aphrodisiac: a intercourse hat.
Peregrine falcons are fast in all the things, and that features printing. When they’re born, they assume kinship with all the things they see in a single fell swoop, whether or not it's one other hawk, a human, or … a hat. Cautious conditioning could make younger peregrine falcons settle for particular "copulation hats" as members of their very own species, horny, horny members. The honeycomb bowlers had been specifically developed to effectively catch each drop of falcon sperm. So it may be sucked up with a syringe and inseminated in a close-by feminine peregrine falcon – which can also be conditioned to see tall, featherless folks as the most well liked birds on this planet.
However typically the sight of the rubber hat alone just isn’t sufficient to set the falcons on fireplace. A human canine handler is pressured to behave just like the Cyrano de Bergerac, to intercourse birds, to placed on the hat and to make the suitable mating calls with a purpose to romanticize the peregrine falcon to an intense lovemaking. Fortuitously, this sexhatravaganza technique has spawned falcon fruits, and over 6,000 peregrine falcons have been reintroduced into the American wild. Nearly each certainly one of them could be traced again to their existence as a result of his father wished to hammer the town on the pinnacle of a man.
Leopard snails use their head penises to play pop ballets the other way up
You wouldn’t count on snails, nature's delicate condom, to be wonderful lovers. Not solely are they sluggish (downright sluggish, even), however they're additionally hermaphrodite, content material to like themselves when nobody else cares. Even when two slimy bachelors / etes meet at evening, some snail species are so dangerous in foreplay that they would like to solely stab one another than to interact in mutually agreeable sensuality.
Wikimedia Commons / Joris M. Koene, Hinrich Schulenburg